There is so much to tell,
yet there is too much to say.
We both know we listened to each
other; realistically a long as we
care, and we individually are the
main subject. I listened. Mostly.
I heard what no one else did, I thought
and processed as everyone else did not.
Your thoughts are original and lack
the chains which bind others from
ever getting heard. Their problem.
We were an us and then I said ..
I know the power of words.
I know what I said.
I am so sorry, I want to eat them
I want to beg you back….
What I want doesn’t matter.
Instinct tells me you will wait for me to burn.
The thing that drove me to
split us like winter wood with an ax
is the important part. It was
unclear and still it is etched in my
soul, It isn’t safe in my life right now.
You know why you instinctively
gave me space, no not sex, the
other voice whispering on the other shoulder
saying you can’t save her.
If you heard that then you heard
it say nor can she save you.
You didn’t run, but you did leave
an empty chair in my room.
Slowly, methodically and who
knows maybe it was good.
I am slower to the epiphanies
of my seemingly fractured sensible
ways as they frey from the friction
caused by slowed moment of
combustion and those sworded words
leave my face.
I am in pain.
I am fighting a war that only I can
change. There are innocent victims and
then there are assholes that knew they would
be hurt and allowed it, they need to be victim.
You do not. I will say, that
everyday I live and breathe,
I will be thinking and you will be in the way.